Halfway through this week I thought I wasn't going to write an email, and then the second half hit me with a lot of things having changed. I'm going to start it off with a crazy story, and then the rest will be a different vibe.
DONT TRUST ANYONE
We were walking down a road to an investigators, and we start to pass by this group of girls, so I like usual say, "maayong hapon" (good afternoon). Nothing unusual, until the response comes back and I hear, in the deepest voice I have heard since being in the Philippines, "maayong hapon." This isn't the first transgender I have seen here. I see one almost every day, but this is the first time I was genuinely tricked. Even after knowing and looking at him, it still didn't look like a girl.
KILLING JESUS
DISCLAIMER: what I mention in the next sentence is not what the paragraph is about, it is just to provide context.
Alright, so if you didn't pick up on it by my lack of emails these past two transfers, I am struggling a lot with my comp again. I choose not to write emails, because if I was you I wouldn't want to hear about that over and over. Anyways, although things have not gotten better, I have found some things that are at least giving me joy being here. One of those is books. I read three books this week. The first being a book called, "Killing Jesus." It is a book written by two catholics that tells the story of killing Jesus, obviously, but they paint Jesus as just a man. For example, the last line in the book reads, "and to this day the body of Jesus has never been found" or something like that. It was a really interesting read, and it taught me a ton. I have never read the New Testament because I always thought you had to read the Old Testament first, and that is rough to get through, although it does have great stories and teachings as well. So, after reading that, I started the New Testament, and I am currently working on that. That book, along with the Redeemer album by the Nashville Tribute Band, made me want to learn more about Christ. I started watching the bible videos on gospel library, and It genuinely felt like I was learning about Jesus for the first time. I had this feeling of just wanting others to know it. I actually in my head imagined me walking up to my family (who are members) and saying, "have you guys heard of this Jesus guy? He's awesome." Sounds kinda cringy writing that out, but I use these as my journal, and I don't want to forget that. The next big moment was a voice from Elder Henry. Me and him have had countless conversations, and it is really nice to be able to talk to someone who thinks like he does. Anyways, he said some things that stuck out to me, and honestly hit me hard. So that's why he's getting a shoutout. I would explain what it was, but that would make this paragraph 10x longer. After that, I read this book called "The Greatest Salesman in the World," which I have read a couple times before. It's not a religious book, it's a financial book, but it's a great read. It has a chapter on love, that is giving me even more happiness in applying its principles, and recalling some of its phrases in my head throughout the day. The last thing that gave me some joy is some lyrics in J.Coles new album. I'm not going to expand, but at the bottom of the email I will leave the quotes that stuck out to me from the books and the songs.
MY THOUGHTS
Time for everyone's favorite section that I haven't done in a while. I'm going to try to organize this, but there was a lot, so bear with me. I also won't be writing everything, because I haven't fully figured it out. I asked myself the question, why do I have some days where I am happy and am content with working, and other days where I just feel like giving up, and what do I do on those good days that is different. The day that I am writing this was one of those good days so I started analyzing it, and I realised something. For context, before I get into it, before my mission, I was constantly working on something. If I had free time, I would try and fill most of it with something productive. So what I realised was the days that were easy were the days I was working on something. Little things, like trying to figure out a doctrinal question, and trying to listen to all the songs on a new album that just came out, and learn the story behind it. Those little things that work my brain make me feel productive, and in return give me a sliver of the joy I felt being productive back home. It's nowhere close to being the same joy, but it's enough. Also I have brought similar things up before and people can argue that the mission is work and productive, but it's different. I don't know how to explain it, but mission work doesn't feel productive to me, even though I know how important it is and how much value it holds. Anyways, I spared the rough parts, but there's a tiny glimpse of my thoughts.
QUOTES
So love your enemies.
President Ronald Reagan picked up on that theme: "He promised there will never be a dark night that does not end. And by dying for us, Jesus showed how far our love should be ready to go---all the Way." –Killing Jesus
Betimes in the morning say to thyself. This day I shalt have to do with an idle curious man. with an unthankful man. a railer, a crafty, false, or an envious man; an unsociable uncharitable man. All these ill qualities have happened unto them, through ignorance of that which is truly good and truly bad. But I that understand the nature of that which is good, that it only is to be desired. and of that which is bad, that it only is truly odious and shameful: who know moreover, that this transgressor, whosoever he be, is my kinsman, not by the same blood and seed, but by participation of the same reason, and of the same divine particle; How can I either be hurt by any of those, since it is not in their power to make me incur anything that is truly reproachful? or angry, and ill affected towards him, who by nature is so near unto me? for we are all born to be fellow- workers, as the feet, the hands, and the eyelids; as the rows of the upper and under teeth: for such therefore to be in opposition, is against nature; and what is it to chafe at, and to be averse from, but to be in opposition? -Marcus Aurelius
Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough.
-The Greatest Salesman in the World
Failure no longer will be my payment for struggle. Just as nature made no provision for my body to tolerate pain, neither has it made any provision for my life to suffer failure. Failure, like pain, is alien to my life. In the past I accepted it as I accepted pain. Now I reject it and I am prepared for wisdom and principles which will guide me out of the shadows into the sunlight of wealth, position, and happiness far beyond my most extravagant dreams, until even the golden apples in the Garden of Hesperides will seem no more than my just reward.
Time teaches all things to him who lives forever, but I have not the luxury of eternity. Yet, within my allotted time I must practice the art of patience, for nature acts never in haste. To create the olive, king of all trees, hundred years is required.
-The Greatest Salesman in the World
What they will teach me is more to prevent failure than to gain success, for what is success other than a state of mind? Which two, among a thousand wise men, will define success in the same words; yet failure is always described but one way. Failure is man's inability to reach his goals in life, whatever they may be.
-The Greatest Salesman in the World
I wont complain, I know the more I gotta struggle is the more I gain. -J.Cole
So busy looking back that I can't see what God has made for me. -J.Cole
Some days I forget to eat, some days I forget to pray, I get a whole lot of love, sometimes I focus on hate. -J.Cole
This life is more than just [lists some things], it's the difference you make. -J.Cole
Sorry for the long email he wrote,
Elder Lewis
This story is from the MTC. One day, I was sitting in the office of the MTC waiting for Elder Kuri to finish a meeting. While I was sitting there, I overheard a conversation between the MTC president's wife, and one of the senior missionaries there. They were looking at one of the sister missionaries’ suitcase, and the senior missionary said, "Have you seen this suitcase? It has a bent wheel." Sister Augustine replies and says, "We will just get her a new suitcase." And the senior missionary said, "That’s what I was thinking." This may seem small and silly, but this stuck out to me a lot. The suitcase still worked. The wheel was just bent a little, but they chose to replace it for her. This just stuck out to me as an example of Christlike behavior that I have thought a lot about.
This story comes from when the first earthquake and typhoon hit on my mission. After everything settled, I got the opportunity to help with some cleanup work for peoples’ houses. If I had been back home, I most likely would have never known these people were going through what they were going through. But because I chose to serve a mission, I got the opportunity to help them first hand, and to share with them that just because these awful things are happening, they still have a Father in Heaven who knows and loves them.
.jpg)
