DARK AND LIGHT - Field Week 9

 DARK

Sorry if I haven't responded to your emails, this week was super hard. It was hard, and then I found out that one of my friends from back home unexpectedly passed away. I wasn't insanely close with him, but enough to where it hurts. It hurts for me, but I also hurt for those who were way closer to him than I was. I can't stop thinking about funny moments, and looking back at the picture of us hugging in the airport before I left for my mission. It has honestly made my motivation for mission work so low. I had my interview with President and Sister Scott, and told them I wanted to go home. I swear whenever things start getting good again another bad thing happens. I told them that it's only been three months and my family moved to Texas, I missed my brother's wedding, some other stuff that is happening, and now this, and I just don't know how much more I can miss. I know my pride won’t let me go home early. So it won't be my decision if it does happen, but I so badly wanted to be home. I have a ton of respect for President and Sister Scott. A ton of people on the mission have issues with them because they don't get what they want for transfers, but I have so much love for them. They were able to not only give me exactly what I was wanting to hear, but also a lot of what I needed to hear. It is still really hard, and I think it will be for the rest of the mission honestly, but I know I need to stay. If not for anyone else, then for me.

LIGHT

As you can probably guess, not much work got done, but after applying some of what they told me, some light started to shine. I felt the spirit so strong in a lesson after not being able to feel it in weeks. We also had some really good lessons after that, and I was able to find more confidence to participate. Of course, like I said before, when things start looking good something bad happens, even on a smaller scale. On our way to an investigators house it was dark, and I stepped almost knee deep into some mud, which almost certainly had poop and pee in it. My shoes came off and I had to reach my arms in to get them, which was so hard to do. So that tested my patience, having to walk 45 minutes home with that, and then clean it all. The next day though was Sunday. We got out extra early and went to some investigators house to see if they could come to church. We went to Tatay Alfredo's house, and it was locked and everyone said lakaw siya. I looked at Llanos and jokingly said, "Hopefully to church.” We walk into church, and there he is, talking to another tatay. Then in the elders quorum a member pulled me out, and when I turned the corner, I saw Tatay Joseph, another one of our investigators, drenched in sweat. Apparently he accidently passed the church and just kept on walking, so he missed Sacrament meeting. These moments were just some light in these seemingly dark days. Also SM mall is back open, which is a huge light.

CONCLUSION

Please continue to pray for me. I really need it. And please please pray for my friends and my friend's family who need it more than I do. For those that are wondering, Elder Llanos and I's relationship has grown a ton. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice, it really has helped.

Blessed,

Elder Lewis

Get Me Out of Here - Field Week 8

 I originally had this email planned out to be completely different then what I am going to write about. The beginning of this week suuucked. I was going to go on a whole rant about my companion, and how the title of the email wasn't an exaggeration, but things have changed. Let me give a little backstory. This week was the first time that I had a serious thought of “I want to go home.” I have been having issues with my companion, and our sink stopped draining (I already hate this apartment), and it just hasn't been good for me mentally.

Back home when my mental health got bad, I always had the gym. And I didn't realize how much that helped me until I don't have it. It's not just working out, it's also the late night drive to the gym with music, and the atmosphere of the gym. Anyways, it started me genuinely wanting to go home just because of the gym. And after that, I started questioning if I was out here for myself or if I was just trying to please other people, and overall just coming up with a ton of justifications for going home. I started thinking about how I could be starting college right now and working on things I want to do, but then the thought hit me and I started comparing what I am doing now to college. One thing I realized was that they are both things that I always told myself I would never do. This made me think that if I can't finish this two years, why would I be able to do four plus? I then started thinking about how this is building grit, which is a characteristic I find super valuable. I also started to think, if I was just searching for instant gratification, or if I genuinely felt like this wasn't right.

Overall, I realized that I needed to stop complaining, and understand that this is what I chose, and I need to stick with it. But that didn't help with my whole companion situation. But guess what, the next day I was doing personal study  (President and Sister Scott gave us a challenge when we first got here to read the Book of Mormon and highlight anything that points to or testifies of Christ) and I started to think about Christ, about who he was, what I need to do to be more like him (see where im going with this?). Obviously I started to think about Elder Llanos. How he is a child of God and again how I can't change that he's my comp, but what can I change? I decided that I was just going to lean into everything he says, even if I thought it was stupid or against mission rules, I was just going to accept that that was what we were doing. To be fair he is my trainer (even though most of the time it feels like I’m training him), so I'm just going to lean into it, and trust that the Lord will guide the way.

On top of all that, I realized I could start trying to change things that will make me feel all around better. So I have been trying to eat better and trying to meal plan (see my google photos). I’ve been trying to get as good of a workout as I can get every day, and I've been trying to drink at least a gallon of water a day. Before the mission I would drink like a gallon and a half a day, but for some reason now when I should be drinking more water, I've been drinking less. I also am trying to only drink water unless I'm given soda by a member or investigator. Before the mission I also didn't drink soda, so it has been sad to see how much I am drinking now. That's all. Another hump on this rollercoaster. 

Staying jacked,

Elder Lewis

                                                    

Typhoons - Field Week 7

 TYPHOON(S)

Ever since I told Elder Gamot that I've never experienced a natural disaster before, God has just been making sure I could never say that again. This week we got hit with two typhoons. Luckily for us, the second typhoon was in the Luzon area, so we only really got some light wind and rain, but the first one hit us pretty hard. Our apartment is thankfully on a hill, so there was no flooding, and no damage to our apartment. They turn off the water and electricity during these things, so we didn't have those for the whole next day, but it all came back on the next night. Again, we got super lucky. There were a lot of missionaries having to climb onto their roofs because their apartment flooded, and they lost all of their stuff. We were walking one day to check up on our area, and we saw places that were once walkways and are now ditches, and places that were once ditches are now filled. When we were walking, a guy yelled out to me and said, "My friend! Look at my car. It's dead!" with the biggest smile on his face. There had been a landslide and cars were piled up on each other in a river. Overall, super lucky and grateful that we didn't feel any effects, but for some reason I'm feeling some guilt with that, but it's ok. Also the mall we used to go to every p day was flooded up to the second story, so RIP SM, you will be missed. 

SERVICE PROJECTS

With the typhoons, we have been doing service projects left and right. We helped one nanay, whose house was completely under water, evacuate to the church. And we helped another nanay, whose house had a tree fall on it, clean up all the mess, and set the pieces of her house into piles. While we were there, I was talking to this one sister from America as well, about how it is just such a crazy thing to experience, and how its been making everyone homesick. And I said that at any point we can make a call, and be on a plane going to a nice safe home, but these are their homes. And so right now, all I want to do is just help as many people as I can clean up, and at least feel a little bit of fresh air. 

TRANSFERS

I did not get an American companion, but I'm ok with it. My companion now is Elder Llanos. He is a native bisaya speaker, and doesn't know much English. So most of the time he speaks to me in bisaya and if I speak to him in english, he doesn't understand a lot. So it is really cool and I am so happy, because my last comp only spoke to me in English. Speaking of my last comp, I do really miss him. We had a really good relationship, and since my comp doesn’t really speak much English, I don't know what our relationship is going to be like throughout the transfer. He's a chill guy though, so I think it will be ok. I also got a new kabalay in our apartment, which I am so excited about because he replaced Elder Toyogon. Elder Toyogon was sweet, but I just about threw hands with him so many times. He had no self awareness at all. For example, he would walk in the room at 11:30 at night when everyone was trying to sleep and turn on the lights and start laughing super loud at videos on his phone. Super frustrating, but Elder Raquiño replaced him, and he is super cool. I actually really enjoy him a lot, and would be glad to have him as a comp one day. With Gamot being transferred, I have to lead the area. I have always prided myself in being able to go somewhere one time and always remember how to get there, but this place is the craziest maze, so it took me a while. Luckily I got it down. The only thing with Elder Llanos is that he is supposed to be training me, but he keeps asking me how to do things or what to do. And he's almost going home, so some of the things are crazy to me. Besides the language and teaching, it almost feels like I am training him. 

WEEKLY THOUGHTS

This week after transfers, I had the thought that it seems like every time I want something, God gives me the opposite. It always ends up working out, but it made me wonder if I could get to a point where I can align myself as close as possible with the spirit, and with God's will so that what I want ends up being the same thing that God had in mind for me. So I have been trying to think about ways that I can do that, and I think that in doing so it will also allow me to feel a lot closer to Christ. So I am excited to start working on that.

Missing ben 10,

Elder Lewis

P is for Preparation for a Typhoon - Field Week 6

INTRO

Another week down, another crazy natural disaster I've never experienced before. For some reason I have gotten sick 4 separate times this month, and this week was no exception. The worst part about being sick is that it is the only time I feel homesick. Also, I got prescribed some antibiotics from the doctor, and decided to take them on an empty stomach even though I could hear my mom screaming at me not to in my head. Let me say, mother knows best because I found myself in the bathroom throwing it all up about 30 minutes later. And then to top the week off, we find out that we have a typhoon hitting us tomorrow. So today's P-day was P for preparation as always, but preparing food and water and 72 hour kits for our safety. Apparently the power likes to go out for a couple days when these things happen, so pray for me extra hard palihog. 

TRANSFERS

I made it through my first transfer. Although I fully have trust in God, I'm super nervous. My companion has been in this area for 6 months already, so he is most likely getting transferred, which means I'll get a new trainer. Although I love him so much as a person, I can't say that I learned anything about the mission or language from him. I'm hoping that I get an American trainer because all the people with American trainers are doing super well in the language, because the foreigners know how to explain everything. Again, I absolutely love my companion. I have laughed so much these past few weeks. I just can't lie that I am excited for something new. I can't wait for six months when me and Elder Nault become comps on his little resort he's on right now and we can baptize the whole place.

OUR INTERESTED FRIENDS

Remember that family that has 8 kids, well my companion invited them to be baptized and they accepted. So 4 of the 10 are getting baptized unta, the first week of December. Sadly though, he extended the invitation when we were on exchanges, so I wasn't there to witness it, but I’ll be there when they hopefully get baptized. Also, exchanges were fun. One lady loved me. She was teaching me bisaya words, and she told me that she is going to make me a pillow, which I am super excited for because I have been wanting another pillow.

MY WEEKLY THOUGHTS

A lot of the time I find myself deep in thought about random things. This weeks, came from my studies. I am trying to finish the Book of Mormon every transfer, and I am behind. So the other day I read half of Alma and all of Helaman, which if you don't know, are all war stories. What I noticed was the recurring idea of laying up your treasures in heaven, and our purpose behind our actions. I then listened to a few missionary podcasts, and some talks and devotionals, and they all somehow outlined this same topic. This obviously made me start thinking about my purpose behind why I am here. When I was sick I thought a lot about when I get home. Am I going to feel accomplished or am I going to feel like I just wasted 2 years. The idea of laying up treasures in heaven, and not in the world. Meaning do what matters most, and what will last the longest. And the idea of our purpose behind our actions made me realize that what I am doing is a good thing. And just that tiny simple thought naghatag sa akoa daghan og kalipay (gave me a lot of happiness) (I only did that because for some reason my mind told me that I knew how to say that in bisaya.) But anyways it gave me just what I needed to be excited to be here again. I think you can probably tell from my emails how much my emotions toward this whole mission thing changes.

Another thing that came up was while I was reading a talk by President Uchtdorf where he talks about faith. One of the things he says is that faith is a powerful thing, but no matter how much faith we have it cannot violate a person's agency. This made me start analyzing my prayers when I ask for things. It made me realize that when I ask for things, I tend to ask for people to do things. When I read this, it reminded me of the story of Nephi, the son of Helaman, when the Lord told him that because of his faith, whatever he asks for will be done. He asks the lord to replace the war with famine that hopefully they would repent and turn to God. He could have asked that the people would repent and turn to God, but that would have violated their agency. So instead he asked for the Lord to provide a way that they may choose for themselves to turn to him. I just thought that was so cool. It made me change my prayers. So instead of asking for people to do something, I ask that God may provide a way that they may choose for themselves whatever it is I am praying for. I don't even know if that is effective. I am still studying the topic and trying to figure out more about it, but I just thought it was so cool.

CONCLUSION

Walking through the city of Cebu in the rains before a typhoon with deftones playing in my ears makes me feel like I'm Batman. This had been the most spiritually fulfilling thing ever. I am so happy to be here. I still can't picture myself speaking a different language one day, like it doesn't feel real. Love you guys. Amping mo!

My little soda pop,

Elder Lewis

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